I'm back to post something because it's been a long time since my last post.
A more personal story for me these days, is my commitment to music. For current circumstances, I understand why music is no longer in my life. However, the question I ask myself is "will I ever have it back?" Will I ever love music like I loved it before. It's a scary thought, a life without the thing that has kept me alive for so many years. It's the thing that kept me from plunging deep into the darkness, lost forever in my own abyss. But what is a life without music? I do not know. Can I survive without it? Only time will tell. I can't remember the last time that music truly got me excited. Nightwish's new album is awesome and a younger self would be all over that. I listen to it now, I see the genius of Tuomas. I look at the transitions, the dynamics, the counterpoints, etc., I see what is pure genius, I see what I would change myself. But it's the same magic in my heart. I see the magic but am not a part of it. Lou Reed and Metallica's new album, I would also be all over that (I will do a review of Lulu soon, to explain my controversial view). And yet, Metallica doesn't light my fire anymore. And it isn't like the music is any less magical, I hear and see new bands coming from everywhere. And they're brilliant. Coeur de Pirate; I would have gotten to know her whole musical career, but I've seen to have strayed from that path. Music just isn't resonating with me anymore. What I know for a fact is that, music is just as resonate (or maybe even more) than what it was just a few years ago. Right now is the brink, the music scene goes through booms and busts, and it's about to hit it's climax. I can feel it. and yet, instead of keeping my ears to the ground, and looking for that breaking point. I'm uninterested and un-opinionated. One day when I'm ready, I will see if the music will accept me back. But for the next moment in my life, I must walk away from the comforts of what I know, and face the world without the colours and magic that once surrounded my life.
